My husband filed for divorce like he was canceling a subscription.
No discussion. No counseling. No warning.
Just a packet of legal documents left at the reception desk of my office in Chicago, Illinois, with a small yellow sticky note attached to the front page that read in neat handwriting, “Please don’t make this difficult.”
That was Matthew Collins. He always stayed calm when he was being cruel, and the calmness made everything worse because it allowed him to act like nothing terrible had happened. The divorce itself was not the only shock, because what Matthew truly wanted was complete control over everything we had built during our marriage, especially custody of our ten year old daughter, Olivia Collins, who had been the center of my world since the day she was born.
In his official filing he described me with words that sounded clinical and damaging at the same time. According to his documents I was unstable, financially reckless, and emotionally volatile. According to him he was the exact opposite, a stable and responsible parent who provided structure and guidance. Because he wore expensive suits, spoke in a controlled tone, and kept his voice soft and reasonable during every conversation, people often believed him before they ever heard my side of the story.
When the custody hearing began at the Cook County courthouse in Chicago, Matthew barely looked at me. He made eye contact for two seconds before turning his gaze away as if I embarrassed him simply by existing. Olivia sat beside me on the wooden bench with her small hands folded neatly in her lap while her feet dangled above the floor because the chair was too tall for her.
She should not have been there that day, and I had argued with my attorney about it because I never wanted my child to witness a courtroom battle between her parents. Matthew had insisted that she attend the hearing because he claimed the judge needed to see the “real family dynamic.” According to him it would help reveal the truth.
Truth, in Matthew’s mind, meant forcing a ten year old child to watch her parents fight for legal ownership of her life.
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