I sat on the edge of the bed and listened to it for a while, waiting for my body to react. Crying, maybe. Panic. Something.
Nothing came.
I took off my shoes and lined them up neatly by the wall, a habit that refused to leave me even now.
I placed my bag on the chair and opened it slowly. Everything I owned fit inside.
A change of clothes. Toiletries. A few papers I hadn’t had the heart to throw away.
And at the bottom, still sealed, the envelope Margaret had given me.
I didn’t touch it. I closed the bag and pushed it under the bed, as if putting distance between myself and the only unknown left might make the night easier.
I turned off the light and lay down fully dressed, staring at the ceiling while the heater clanged and the sound of cars rushing past on the highway seeped through the walls.
The first night passed without sleep.
Every time I closed my eyes, my mind replayed the living room scene in fragments. Ryan’s voice. Lisa’s smile. The word eviction.
I wasn’t angry in the way people expect anger to look. There was no fire, no urge to call anyone and demand answers.
What I felt instead was hollow, as if something essential had been scooped out of me and taken away.
Ten years had ended with a sentence, and there was nothing left to argue with.
In the morning, I counted the money. Five thousand dollars.
The lawyer’s transfer had already gone through, efficient and impersonal.
I did the math automatically, the way I had always done. Motel rates. Food. Gas.
It would last a few weeks if I was careful. Two, maybe three.
I went to a grocery store down the road, the kind wedged between a dollar store and a nail salon in a strip mall, and bought the cheapest things I could find.
Bread. Peanut butter. Soup.
I stood in line watching the total climb on the screen, my stomach tightening with each dollar.
I had paid for medications that cost more than this in a single month. I had never once kept track.
Now every cent mattered.
The days blurred together.
I slept in short bursts, waking whenever the heater kicked on or someone slammed a door nearby.
Leave a Comment