Ashley got a brand-new car for her sixteenth birthday. White. Shiny. Still smelled like plastic and money. She posted pictures with a bow bigger than her head. My parents stood behind her smiling like they’d won a prize.
For my sixteenth birthday, I got a used bike from a garage sale.
My mother said, “It’ll build character.”
I rode that bike through rain, through cold, through summers when the asphalt shimmered, because the bus was unreliable and asking for rides meant hearing my father sigh like I was asking him to donate a kidney.
Ashley’s college tuition was paid in full. Housing. Meal plan. Spending money. My mother bragged about it to her friends. “She deserves it,” she’d say. “She works so hard.”
I worked three jobs and took out loans.
When I asked for help buying textbooks, my father lectured me about fiscal responsibility. He said, “Nobody handed me anything,” while handing Ashley everything with both arms outstretched.
I stopped asking for things when I was fourteen.
It was easier to expect nothing than to be disappointed by their indifference. Easier to build a small, private world where I didn’t need their approval because I wasn’t going to get it anyway.
The only problem with that kind of survival is that it hardens you in quiet ways. It makes you suspicious of kindness. It makes you flinch when people offer help, because help in my family always came with strings.
Except my grandparents didn’t do strings.
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