When the mother-in-law decides

— You don’t know this man, why are you talking bad about her?

“About who?” Marina didn’t understand.

“Oh, Svetlana, my son’s ex-girlfriend! You don’t know her at all! Why are you saying such things about her? Would you like it if she started saying the same things about you?” Svetlana Olegovna suddenly blurted out.

“Where did you get the idea I was talking about her?” Marina asked, surprised. “I’m just saying that! I’m thinking out loud, you could say! And as for this Saint, Misha himself said about her that she…” Marina fell silent for a moment, lost in thought. “Damn, how did he talk about her?! Oh, I just remembered she was ‘wooden up to the waist’!”

“In what sense?” my mother-in-law didn’t understand. “What does ‘wooden up to the waist’ mean?”

“Well, she’s just stupid!” Marina smiled. “She can’t do anything! Misha said she just sat at home and did nothing, didn’t even cook for him!”

“And you, one might think, cook for him?” Svetlana Olegovna asked with disbelief in her voice.

“Are you serious now?” Marina asked.

“What did I say wrong?” my mother-in-law pretended. “You cook for him?”

“Of course! What’s so strange about that? I cook for him, and he cooks for me when I don’t have time! Everything’s great with us in that regard!”

“Well, that doesn’t matter!” Mikhail’s mother waved her hand. “And by the way, Svetka isn’t stupid at all! She’s quite a smart girl; it’s just that, as I understand it, my son likes completely different types, more primitive ones!”

“Listen, Svetlana Olegovna! I understand perfectly well that you’ve tried to insult and humiliate me many times! The only thing I don’t quite understand is… why?! What wrong have I done to you that makes you behave this way?”

“And I have to explain myself to you?” his mother-in-law smiled nastily. “I’m in my own house and I can say whatever I want and about whomever I want!”